PROS AND CONS OF GETTING A CAT IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED

I don’t feel like I’m the only person who has ever had the kind of bad mood that can only be cured by sitting on the internet and crying at pictures of tiny, stupid kittens. Nor do I think I’m the only one to have considered purchasing a furry feline friend to pet a little too hard when I’m drowning in self-pity. In fear of becoming Lennie Small and my brand new kitten suffering a fate much like the “wabbits”, I’ve avoided impulse buying myself a companion, but there are tonnes and tonnes of us who ram cats of all shapes and sizes into the empty holes in our hearts.

It makes logical sense to me. They’re good for cuddles when you’re feeling needy but they’re not all up in your grill, prying for your attention 24/7 like dogs, or babies (I really wouldn’t suggest having a child on the grounds of feeling a bit lonely). They have to like you, on account of the fact that you feed them and keep them, and you’ll always have the feeling of superiority in the back of your mind that if you really wanted to, you could probably crush their little skulls with your bare hands. Ideal for the depressed folk among us, right?

Wrong - don’t be so easily fooled by those charming little balls of fur. Some rumours about a link between cats and suicide have been brought to my attention as of late. I decided to do a little internet surfing to see what I could find out about it all, before I continued to hypothetically base my happiness on the oh-so-cute but potentially evil creatures. I realise the internet probably isn’t the most trustworthy territory to start an investigation on cats - the biggest internet fad of the late naughties/ early teenies, but I’m a self-confessed Google-addict and I do occasionally come across something vaguely scholarly. After bypassing great numbers of articles on how to spot cat depression, bi-polar’s switching Prozac to pussy cats and loads of pictures and blogs titled “CATS CURE”, I finally found something that caught my attention.

Turns out some science types have discovered that cats could be doing more harm than good in terms of depression.

In the August issue of the Journal of Clinical Psychology, researchers explain that some cases of suicide could be due to Toxoplasma gondii infection—an intracellular parasite hosted by cats that is passed onto humans. 

 - Emax Health 

Toxoplasma gondii is a nasty little parasite which can form cysts all over the important organs in the human body. It sure doesn’t take a genius to make sense of the links to schizophrenia and other mental disturbances when the disease can potentially make things grow on your brain. There have been suggestions that it raises dopamine levels and can make those who are already depressed, less responsive to their meds. It has also been said to slow reaction times, and provoke reckless behaviour, in some cases leading to psychotic disturbances. Pretty crazy really, when this can all be passed onto us humans just through immediate contact with our loveable pets. Not so cute now hey pussy cat?

Perhaps there is more truth to the myth of the crazy cat lady than we are all made aware of – if you do end up alone with a house-full of feline friends they could actually drive you insane. But then again, I’d probably rather be a schizophrenic with a handful of cute companions, than kill myself without even the cat to leave a suicide note for. Even if you do manage to avoid any cat contact for the rest of your life, you could still pick up the parasite from certain foods. If you like your lamb rare you may already have it – about 70% of British sheep are contaminated from eating soil that contains cat faeces, as delightful as that is. And even you vegetarians aren’t safe. If you're not thorough enough when washing your fresh veg you might also be ingesting that same soil. Then again, it turns out that about 80% of carriers of Toxoplasma gondii live happily ever after anyway even if you have been eating cat shit. So you'll probably be alright.

Basically, like everything else that is remotely fun and/or enjoyable, cats are are apparently bad for us. If you feel like you can handle a little extra dopamine in your system for the sake of kitten cuddles then I'm not dissuading you, let's face it, everybody who's anybody is depressed these days anyway. If you want a cat, go wild, and get yourself a cat, we only live once after all.

Tasha KF
@TashaFranek